


Never Judge A Book By Its Cover

by scarletladyy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, F/M, Flashback, Mental Illness, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-09
Updated: 2010-12-09
Packaged: 2017-10-13 14:36:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/138435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletladyy/pseuds/scarletladyy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Pansy Parkinson tried to give up Harry Potter to the Dark Lord, she never realised her life would go drastically downhill when the light side won.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Judge A Book By Its Cover

It was cold and frosty, and the wind bit at Pansy's neck as she made her way to the Ministry of Magic. She kept her eyes wide open, in spite of the cold, keeping an eye on everyone around her. She needed to know where they were and what they were doing, and most importantly, that they weren't going to lynch her. It wouldn't be the first time people had tried. It was one of the reasons she rarely went out anymore, but she couldn't avoid going out today.

As much as Pansy didn't want to be around people anymore, she also didn't want to be locked away in Azkaban for attempting to hand over Potter. She never would have thought that such a simple act, one she'd done to try and save herself if everything went pear shaped, would leave her life after Hogwarts in so much turmoil. She'd hoped nobody would even remember it, but it seemed to be all anyone could think about when they met her.

The sad thing was, Pansy had to Apparate miles away from her home to get served anywhere, as shops in Diagon Alley refused her service. She was an outcast in the world she'd thought would be her haven, but she'd still managed to lose everything, including her best friend Draco, who was sentenced to three years in Azkaban only a few days ago. That was where she stood now; at her own Death Eater trial, in spite of the fact she had never been an official Death Eater. Yes, her family had supported Voldemort's cause and offered money, but they had never killed or tortured anyone, and neither had she.

The Ministry didn't seem to care about that, though. She was guilty by association, and that was all that mattered. Resigning herself to a fate she couldn't control, she entered by the red telephone box, then took the lift down as far as it would go. Stopping at level nine, she had to get out and descend the staircase.

"Miss Parkinson."

Pansy looked up at the sound of her name as her feet touched down on the wood floor. Her heels clicked loudly as she made her way towards the owner of the voice; an old man she didn't recognise. He was giving her such a cold look she felt chillier in here than she had outside, though the air was physically warmer here.

"You're late."

"I'm sorry," Pansy said softly, "I got caught up in... things." The 'things' she was referring to was the stealing of her wand by a couple of women on her street. It had taken her ten minutes to get it back and she'd had to run most of the way there, only slowing down when it was finally in sight so she didn't appear out of breath.

The man sighed. "That won't look good, Miss Parkinson. Please enter the courtroom."

Gulping, Pansy did as she was asked and made her way to the chair in the centre of the room. When she finally looked up, she saw about thirty or forty faces all staring straight at her; none of them showed a hint of mercy.

"You are Miss Pansy Parkinson, correct?" The man straight ahead of her stood out from all the others, in black robes, and she realised he must be the one overseeing her case.

"Yes."

"You are here on the charge of attempting to hand Harry Potter over to the Dark Lord. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Pansy nodded and kept her eyes fixated on the man in front of her, trying to ignore all the other faces. "But I --"

"Quiet, please."

Inwardly sighing, Pansy sat back in her chair as hushed whispers escalated around the room. If she wanted to get out of this courtroom without being locked up, she had to play by their rules, as unjust and infuriating as that was.

"Excuse me." A woman near the back of the room spoke up. "But why did you think it was appropriate to hand Harry Potter, the saviour of the Wizarding World, over to the Dark Lord?"

"It wasn't that simple," Pansy started. "I just... I wanted to be as far away as possible from... I didn't want to be there if the Dark Lord won. I knew that Professor McGonagall would remove us for something like that, so I --"

Someone clearing their throat at the back of the room interrupted Pansy. "Why didn't you want to be there if the Dark Lord won? You were on his side. That was what you wanted."

"No, no," said Pansy. "That isn't what I wanted at all."

"Then what _did_ you want?" The witch pressed on. "It is a well known fact you were an enemy of Harry Potter."

Pansy shook her head. "No, not an enemy. He was just a school rival, and more to Draco than --"

"Draco?" The man in charge spoke up. "Draco Malfoy? The man we just sentenced to three years in Azkaban?"

"Yes." Pansy really hoped she wasn't going to be judged based on her friends actions, but none of them seemed too impressed by this revelation. "But I've never --"

"Tell us what you wanted, Miss Parkinson," the witch repeated, looking at her scornfully.

"I wanted to be away from the Death Eaters," she stated simply, hoping they wouldn't make her go into too much detail.

The witch raised her eyebrows. "I thought they looked after the Slytherin students during their reign there. After all, you were the children of other Death Eaters and supporters."

"They bullied us just as much," Pansy protested, slightly irritated by the scoffs from around the room. "We didn't get an easy time of it. I didn't, anyway."

"And how were you _bullied_ , Miss Parkinson?" A witch with curly, red hair spoke up. "Because a telling off doesn't count."

"Amycus Carrow... h-he liked to..." Pansy collected herself, unsure if she was going to be able to carry on speaking. She had never said this to anyone, but they were waiting for an answer, and it didn't look like she was going to get off if they thought she was on their side. "Be with me. Like that."

"You mean he raped you?"

Pansy nodded, and then cried out as her memory flashed back to a year ago.

 _"Come here, Pansy. I know you're hiding here somewhere. You can't get away from me."_

 _Pansy breathed as quietly as she could, hiding behind the desk in the empty classroom because she couldn't fit in the cupboard. She had her wand with her, but against such a strong opponent, it would be useless._

 _"It'll be better for you if you just come out now," Amycus said harshly. "Trust me."_

 _Still, Pansy didn't move. When she heard his footsteps creep closer to the desk, she knew she was in trouble. From the moment she ran in here to hide, she knew he'd find her, but the longer she kept him at bay, the better._

 _"There you are, dearie. Don't go running off like that!" Amycus cackled as he dragged her up by her hair. "Let's get you bent over this desk then, since you like it so much."_

Pansy wasn't quite sure what had happened, but when she'd come round from her flashback she was dripping with sweat. She composed herself, sitting up properly, and bit her lip as she turned to face the man in charge of her trial. "I didn't want to be in the Great Hall if Potter lost, because I was sure he wouldn't leave me alone," she said shakily.

The man in charge took one look at her, and for the first time she saw something that looked like pity in his deep eyes, then shouted, "You need to check in with us once a month. Dismissed."

"I can go?" Pansy said, surprised, as he nodded and the rest of the Wizengamot started filing out. She wasn't sure what she'd expected, but she didn't think she'd get off so lightly. She didn't want to push her luck, though, and followed the group as they exited the courtroom and ascended the stairs. She entered the lift with a ginger haired man who she vaguely recognised, but couldn't quite put her finger on him. She guessed it would be a Weasley, and stood as far back from him as she could get.

After crossing the entrance hall and leaving via the telephone box, she was finally in the fresh air. She clasped her hands together for warmth and started off down the street, until she saw a group of women at the end of it staring menacingly at her.

"They let you off? You bitch!" One of them shouted, and they all made their way towards her. She got out her wand but it was cast out of her hand as soon as she had. The woman who'd shouted pinned her to the stone wall of the Ministry, digging her bony fingers into Pansy's shoulder.

"I can't believe they let you get away with it," a dark-haired woman spat. "You should be locked up for life for trying to _murder_ Harry!"

"I didn't try to murder him," Pansy said quietly, their exaggerations wildly out of hand. A couple of years ago she would have been able to handle this, give as good as she got and probably hex them all to kingdom come, but now... Now was a different story, and emotionally she just wasn't able to do anything about her current situation; she was resigned to just letting it happen to her. She didn't seem to see a point in trying to stop them, they were determined to do it regardless.

"Don't lie, you whore!" The dark haired woman slapped her in the face just as one of the blondes punched her in the stomach. "Aren't you going to do anything?!" When Pansy didn't respond she was pushed to the floor, making it easier for them to attack her. They kicked her legs, stomach, and she even received a blow to the face that cut her lip.

"Oi!"

Pansy turned her attentions to the noise, as did the women, and found the same ginger man that was in the lift with her moments earlier. He was running up to them at lightening speed, and he looked furious.

"What's going on here?" he demanded, and the women immediately stepped back from her.

"N-nothing, Mr Weasley," they chanted in unison, scurrying off down the street before he had the chance to say anything else.

He stared her, and that was when she realised it was Ron Weasley, one of the golden trio. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Pansy replied casually, slowly getting up. "It happens all the time, it's nothing to worry about."

Ron raised his eyebrows. "Nothing to worry about? You're bleeding!"

Pansy shrugged.

"Don't you care?" Ron looked slightly concerned as he folded his arms tightly over his chest.

"Not really." Pansy knew she had better things to concentrate on in life; like finding a job. Her family had been well off, though never as much as the Malfoys or some of the other Wizarding families, but the money was dwindling fast since none of her family could work anywhere.

"If that sort of thing happens often, you should tell someone."

"Like who?" Pansy hadn't even thought of telling anyone; that would be far too complicated, and she was sure no one would really care.

"Um, like me?"

"Why on earth would I tell you?"

"I'm an Auror," Ron shrugged. "It's kind of what I do."

"Except they're not Dark witches. Look, I have to go, all right?"

"Where are you going?" Ron seemed far too intrigued in her life, and she wondered if interrupting her attackers was part of some cruel joke and someone was going to run round the corner any minute and strike her.

"Home," Pansy sighed. "I just want to go home."

*

Pansy sat in the living room of her large manor; all the curtains drawn and windows closed, despite the winter sun shining outside. These days Pansy never opened the curtains; she didn't want people to see she was in there. It was the same reason she never answered the door, staying quiet until the person went away. She never had any contact with anyone anymore.

Just as she got up to get herself some lunch, there was a loud knock at the door. She stood perfectly still, as though rooted to the spot for several minutes, but they just wouldn't go away. They knocked and knocked and knocked, not letting up.

"Parkinson! It's me, Ron. Open up. It's important!"

Pansy was so shocked that Ron Weasley of all people would be at her door that she stumbled and bumped into the table, creating a loud noise as the magazines on the other side toppled off onto the floor.

"I know you're in there. I can hear you."

There was no getting out of answering the door now, so she reluctantly made her way to the entrance hall and greeted him.

"There you are," Ron said, walking into the Manor uninvited.

Shutting the door behind him, Pansy looked at Ron oddly. "What are you doing here?"

"Are you okay?"

Pansy nodded. "I'm fine."

"It's just you didn't show up for your monthly check in..." Ron looked uncomfortable now, his hands stuffed awkwardly in his pockets as he eyed her living room. "Nice place."

"Thanks," she said curtly. "I just forgot, that's all. Why did they send you, anyway? You're an Auror, not an errand boy; unless, of course, you lied to me."

"I didn't lie," Ron said quickly, setting the record straight. "Harry recommended I go after I told him what happened in the street."

"You _told_ him?"

Ron looked confused. "I wasn't supposed to?"

"No! I told you I was fine, that should have been the end of it."

"According to Harry, you haven't been employed since Hogwarts. With nobody in the family working, surely your finances must be in trouble..." Ron started, looking as though he knew all about financial problems.

"Indeed." Pansy clicked her tongue in annoyance.

"So... why don't you work?"

Pansy blushed and looked away as she spoke. "Nowhere will hire me."

"Oh." Ron anxiously bit his tongue. "Sorry." He chose this moment to look around the darkened room, curtains closed and bright lights on in the middle of the day. "Why are your curtains shut?"

"None of your business," Pansy spat.

"Here." Ron walked towards the large parlour window. "I'll open them. You'll feel better, trust me. My mum always says --"

"No!" Pansy fled towards Ron, pushing him out of the way of the curtain before he could try and open it. "Leave them. I want them closed. _Please_."

Ron was silent for a moment, shifting his weight from foot to foot awkwardly. "Are you sure you're okay? Look, I know what happened to you... at Hogwarts. I know why you tried to hand Harry over."

"What? How?"

"Harry told me." Ron looked a little ashamed that he knew.

"I don't want to be your charity case, Weasley. Can you please just leave me alone?"

Ron stared at her for a long time before speaking quietly. "No, I don't think I can. I don't think you're... well."

"You've got to be kidding," scoffed Pansy. "I mean, really? What's wrong with _you_?" She knew he wouldn't be put off by that, probably even more spurred on to help her, but she didn't know how to react. He'd worked her out in no time, and if he could do it, so could anybody else. It just gave her more reason to stay inside alone, particularly since several Wizarding shops would send her orders via Owl posts.

"Can I have a drink?" Ron asked shyly.

"Get one yourself." Pansy sat down on the sofa, snuggling into the corner of it. She watched intently as he grabbed a bottle of wine from the drinks cabinet in the corner, pouring himself one. She would have thought he'd have gone for the whiskey or the gin, not the wine. That seemed far too sophisticated for the likes of him.

"Now," said Ron, sitting next to her on the sofa, "I think you need to talk about it. Was that the first time, in the court?"

Pansy nodded.

"Why haven't you told anyone before now?"

Pansy looked at him squarely. "Why do you think? I don't want everyone looking at me as someone who would let that happen to her. Everyone thought I was so strong, and if they knew that... Besides, I thought if I told anyone, he might go after them."

"If you don't mind my asking, what exactly happened?"

"I do mind, actually."

"You need to talk about it, no matter how hard it is. I think it's important."

"What would you know about it, Weasley?" Pansy stalked over to the cabinet and poured herself a glass of wine. If ever she needed one, now was the perfect time.

"I know it's not good to bottle things up," he replied quietly. "I won't tell anyone, not even Harry."

"Why do you even _care_?"

Ron shrugged. "I don't know, but I know I couldn't stop thinking about you and what happened outside the Ministry. No matter what you did, you don't deserve that."

"So you're going to judge me now too? On what I did as a scared teenager? Even now you know _why_ I did it?"

"No," said Ron, shaking his head. "I don't judge you. I think you were very brave, and I can see why you didn't want to be there. If it helps, Harry forgave you a long time ago."

"It doesn't. Harry isn't the one beating me up every few weeks."

Ron's eyebrows rose. "Every few weeks? I didn't think it happened that often. You need to report it, this isn't right."

"I've solved the problem now, so there's no worry," sighed Pansy, resting her head on armrest. "If I don't go out, they can't hurt me."

"That's no life. You can't live like that." Ron took a large sip of his wine, and Pansy couldn't help but feel as though she was bothering him with her problems.

"No, really, it's fine. If I don't go out, people can't judge me." Pansy shuddered as she remembered the looks she got whenever she went out after Hogwarts. It just wasn't worth the hassle, especially since people refused to serve her.

"Why are you so worried about people judging you? I thought you never cared about anything like that, remembering you back in Hogwarts."

"I can't stand them looking at me, thinking all these things that just aren't true. It makes me feel sick." Pansy's voice quietened. "I'm so different from the person I could have been because of _him_..."

 _"Stand facing the blackboard, Pansy." Amycus' voice was hard and cold, sending chills down her spine. She knew facing away from him was a bad idea, but defying him was even worse. "Press your chest against it, spread your legs and place your arms above your head."_

 _Pansy gulped, but obliged. In this position she was exposed and vulnerable, and she couldn't see what he was going to do. All she could hear was some rustling about as he walked towards her._

 _"This is going to hurt," Amycus snickered, then Pansy screamed for all she was worth as a whip was brought down on her bare back. "But I'll enjoy it."_

"Pansy? Pansy?" Ron was rocking her gently. "Are you okay?"

Pansy nodded. "Yeah, I just... yeah. I'm fine."

"What happened? You were shaking." Ron's face's was white, and for the first time in a while Pansy felt as though someone genuinely cared about her.

"I just remembered something, that's all." Pansy stared off into the darkened room, trying not to close her eyes for fear she'd have another flashback. Every time she blinked there was the possibility she'd remember the horrors that happened to her during her last year of school. Her life was a living nightmare, and it was worse when she went to sleep. Most nights she drank a potion for dreamless sleep, disregarding that she could become addicted.

"About... ?" Ron didn't seem to be able to say it, which made it somewhat worse for her. It was so horrific that people didn't want to talk about it, though inside she was a little glad she was able to offload, now he'd started her off.

"Yes," she said quietly. "He... he w-whipped me..." Tears formed in her eyes and she hid her face in shame, completely embarrassed that she'd actually admitted that. Now he'd think her weak, take pity on her, and that was something her parents had always told her was wrong for a Slytherin. ' _Nobody should ever pity a Slytherin_ ', her mother used to say. "And he r-raped me." Pansy choked back a sob, and Ron placed a hand on her knee in an attempt to comfort her.

"Did this happen regularly?"

"Three or four times a week." Biting her lip, Pansy look a very large sip of her wine, nearly downing the whole thing in one. She'd done that quite frequently in the month since the trial, since there was very little to do around the manor. She couldn't stop the tears as she said it, though and they started to fall down her face.

"I'm sorry, Pansy," Ron said, budging closer to her on the sofa and putting his arm around her. Pansy wasn't used to this affection and pushed him away, embarrassed that she'd let herself go like that.

"Please, can you just go?" she asked softly. "I want to be alone."

"I don't think --"

"Leave!" Pansy screamed in his face, tears running freely down her face. "Go, just go." He must have seen she was serious as he placed his glass down, along with a small white card, and stood up, heading towards the door.

"I'll be back, Pansy," Ron said firmly as he closed the door behind him. For a long time, Pansy just stared at the door, half hoping he would come back and comfort her. She'd take comfort from anyone at the moment, even a Weasley. When she eventually got up, she looked at the little card he'd placed on the table; it had his name, address and phone number. In his scrawl to the left, he'd written ' _In case you need me._

*

Pansy awoke from her nap in the evening to the sounds of yelling and screaming. Shocked and scared, she ran to the window and peeked out of the curtains. She nearly screamed when she saw a dozen or so people all running towards the Manor with their wands lit, looking absolutely furious. Not knowing what else to do, Pansy took the card Ron had given her and started to dial his number on the phone Draco had left in her desk drawer for emergencies.

Pressing into the buttons, she played with the card as she heard a funny sounding noise and then a loud voice.

"Hello?"

"Weasley?" Pansy nearly shouted, not really understanding how he could hear her so far away. "It's me, Pansy. I need help, there's people outside, screaming and shouting..."

"All right, all right," said Ron. "Calm down. Connect your Floo system up and I'll be there in a moment."

"Hurry!" Pansy said urgently, dropping the phone onto the sofa and connecting her Floo network with her wand. The noise made her anxious, so she backed into the farthest corner of the room and huddled up, hugging her knees to her chest. It was only mere seconds before he appeared in her living room, covered in ash because he'd been in such a hurry.

"What's going on?" Ron asked, looking from her to the closed curtains, then running over to them and flinging them open.

"No!" Pansy cried. "They'll see me!"

"I just want to see what's going on," Ron said as he looked out the window. "They appear to be firing spells, but they aren't getting past your wards."

"I put some up a while ago," said Pansy quietly. "Just in case."

"Wise idea," muttered Ron. "Look, I'm going to go and sort this out. Whatever happens, you stay in here."

Pansy nodded; she had no intentions of going outside and facing the mob. There must have been something that sparked it off; perhaps there had been an article in the _Daily Prophet_ that morning about her getting off, or her not going to her check in. Pansy wouldn't know, though, since she couldn't afford to buy it every day anymore. Only sporadically, and she seemed to miss all the exciting news.

In the distance Pansy could just make out the sound of Ron yelling; whatever he was saying, he didn't seem happy. Hopefully his influence in the Wizarding World would be enough to stop them from desecrating her house, and then going after her. She pinched her eyes shut, trying to remember happy times, but she couldn't, and ended up sitting there, shaking, until Ron finally came back in.

"They're leaving now," Ron said, sounding out of breath.

"What did they want?" Pansy looked up into his eyes, noting genuine concern in them. Was that for her personally, or just because he didn't like to see others hurt?

Ron shrugged. "I don't know. I think they saw the article in the paper this morning about you missing your appointment with the Ministry."

"Oh," said Pansy quietly.

"Come here." Ron beckoned her over as he sat down on the sofa and appeared to make himself comfortable. It looked a lot nicer over there than it did in the draughty corner, so Pansy obliged. Even when he held his arms out in a hug for her she took it, needing the comfort, though she thought it was probably feigned. Ron had no reason to care about her.

"I'm sorry if I disturbed you when I called..."

"No, no," Ron shook his head frantically. "You didn't, really. I was just watching telly anyway."

Pansy raised her eyebrows and looked at him squarely. "Telly?"

"It's a muggle object, Hermione got us one. I didn't like it at first, but I admit, it's not that bad."

The mention of Hermione made Pansy's blood run cold. She felt as though she was doing something wrong now, remembering he had a girlfriend. It wasn't as if they had even done anything, and it wasn't like she even wanted anything to happen. He was a _Weasley_ for god's sake, but Pansy had to admit he was very huggable, managing to make her feel safe for the first time in a very long while.

"I can stay the night if you like," Ron said softly. "I can kip on the sofa."

Pansy bit her lip before she spoke,not really wanting to ask the next question but feeling as though she should. "Won't your girlfriend mind?"

"I don't have a girlfriend," Ron said sadly, then continued when she looked at him confused. "Hermione and I split up after Hogwarts. We'd been through too much, afterwards we could never make it work properly."

"Oh," Pansy said simply, and found herself uplifted at this, even though she wasn't exactly sure why she cared. "Then I'd like you to stay. Please. Just in case they come back..."

Ron nodded and smiled briefly at her. "Of course." There was a pause, and he looked as though he wanted to say something but was afraid to. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Pansy sat up properly and leant against the back of the sofa, eyeing him intently. Whatever he was about to say seemed serious, and it made her anxious.

"Why did you miss your ministry appointment?" His voice was soft, and he spoke as though he was treading on eggshells. Given how she had acted with him recently she didn't blame him, but she did inwardly sigh at the thought of having to answer.

"I didn't want to go out on my own. Everyone gives me weird looks, people shout abuse at me... it's just not worth it."

Ron looked awkward. "But if you miss another, they'll throw you in Azkaban for violating the terms of your agreement..."

"I didn't think about that," Pansy said, looking off into the distance. She didn't have a clue what she would do next time it rolled around, and whether she'd actually be able to go.

"Look..." Ron bit his lip awkwardly. "I can go with you if you want, collect you from here. Yeah?"

Pansy nodded. "Thanks, Weasley."

"No problem. And please, call me Ron," he yawned. "Now if you don't mind, I think it's time I turned in."

"There's some blankets in the dresser across the hall. Knock yourself out," said Pansy, leaving the room and climbing the stairs. At least now she wasn't sleeping in the manor alone, something she despised whenver her parents decided to swan off. Perhaps she could get a decent nights sleep for once.

*

Pansy smoothed down her dress and checked herself in the mirror for about the thousandth time. This was also her fifth outfit, because she wasn't quite sure what to wear. She wanted everything to go perfectly, though she had a terrible feeling it wouldn't. She wouldn't be alone, though, and that was what was most important to her.

As she heard Ron call out from her Floo, she ran down the stairs, grabbing her coat on the way. It was cold outside, and she didn't want to add freezing to death to her list of current problems.

"Ready?" Ron asked, a smile wide on his face.

Pansy simply nodded, and followed his lead out the door. Unfortunately for her, those who were suspected of being Death Eaters, or associated with them, weren't allowed to use the Floo ports in the Ministry, so she and Ron would have to Apparate to the street outside, where the telephone box was.

"With any luck we won't meet many people," Ron said hopefully, holding out his arm for her to take.

Wrapping her arm around his, Pansy prepared for the Apparation. It wasn't something she'd ever really got used to, and it made her feel slightly nauseated, so if she could walk somewhere, she usually did. They arrived just opposite the telephone box, decreasing the chances of anyone seeing them, and walked straight into it. "Pansy Parkinson," she said quietly, receiving her name tag. Ron did the same, but his had the title of 'Auror and Escort' on it, making him blush profusely.

"Everyone knows who I am," Ron muttered, stuffing it into his top pocket. "I don't think I'll wear it. Oh," he interjected as she got out of the box and started to make her way towards the lift going down to the courtrooms, "your check ups are a lot more informal. They're with Harry himself, in his office."

"With Potter? What? Why?" Pansy gasped, struggling to comprehend the many things he could do to her with his power in their world. "He'll throw me in Azkaban!"

Ron laughed. "No, he won't. I told you, he forgave you long ago. He was supposed to be the chief judge in your case, but it would have been inappropriate considering your past together."

"And this isn't inappropriate?" she said, biting her lip.

"Like I said, it's a lot more informal. It's just a chat, you'll be fine. I'll be there, anyway. I'll give Harry what for if he dares insult you!" Ron was still laughing, presumably at his own joke, but Pansy wasn't finding it very funny. She wasn't sure she could face the man who everyone hated her for trying to betray. Ron says he'd forgiven her, but that might have been just a front. What if he was out for revenge?

"I feel faint," said Pansy quietly. "I want to go home." Her head was spinning and she held onto Ron for support, but her hands were clammy and they slid off his, making her stumble.

"Hey, hey." Ron's voice was soothing as he got hold of her firmly. "I promise you everything will be okay. Trust me."

Pansy wasn't sure she could, but she really didn't have any choice in the matter, letting him guide her towards Potter's office. Ron didn't even knock on the door, strolling right in with her by his side, feeling incredibly awkward as Potter looked up at her.

"Miss Parkinson?" Potter asked, indicating the chair in front of him. "Can I call you Pansy? We like to keep these things informal, you see."

Pansy nodded and sat down, clasping her hands tightly in her lap.

"Are you okay with Ron being here?"

"Yes," said Pansy softly, glad Potter didn't seem to object.

"So," Potter started looking through his papers. "You missed last month's appointment. Why was that?"

"Well, I, er, I didn't want to go out." Pansy had mumbled it so quietly she was surprised Potter could even make it out, but he nodded swiftly and marked something down on a piece of paper.

"That's fine. Now, what have you been up to recently?" At her startled look, Potter continued. "It's just to make sure you haven't been up to anything you shouldn't have."

"If I had, do you think I would tell you?" asked Pansy, feeling slightly brave.

Both boys laughed. "Good point," remarked Potter. "That's pretty much it to be honest, but I've heard you're being attacked on a regular basis, and if there's something we can do about that, I'd like to."

"Like I told Ron, I've fixed it," Pansy said squarely.

"You can't just not go out because you're afraid of being attacked," Ron sighed. "It really isn't an appropriate solution. There must be something we can do to help."

Pansy pursed her lips together tightly. "That's not the only reason I don't go out."

"I know," said Ron, squatting down next to her and placing a hand on her leg. "But we can work on that later. Right now, I'm sure there are many things we can do to solve the current problem."

"There are," Potter agreed. "For a start, I can keep a watch on your Manor, and I'll put out several announcements letting people know that attacks like that aren't going to be tolerated. If you let me know who attacks you, I'll arrest them."

"See," Ron smiled at her.

Pansy felt quite grateful that they were going to such trouble to make sure she was safe, but even so, people would still judge her when she went out, and nobody, not even Harry Potter, could control that. Still, Ron said he would work on that with her, and perhaps he'd be able to solve the issue. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," said Potter. "You are free to go now. I'll see you next month. If, after a year, everything is still good, you won't have to see me anymore. That should brighten your day!" He chuckled, and Pansy forced a brief smile onto her face as Ron escorted her out the door.

*

"Pansy..." Ron said as he sat down on the sofa. They'd been home from her appointment for a few hours, and spent most of it talking. He'd just come back from the toilet, as she was finishing off pouring them both a drink.

"Yeah?" Pansy asked as she passed him a tumbler of Firewhiskey.

"I heard you the night I stayed here... screaming..."

Pansy stared at the floor. "Um, yeah. I have nightmares about, well, what happened with Amycus when I don't take my potion."

"Understandable," agreed Ron. "But we need to do something about them, as well as your flashbacks and your anxiety. Is there anything else you're not telling me about?"

Pansy shrugged. "I haven't been happy in a long time."

"Okay," Ron said softly, taking something out of his jacket pocket and placing it on the table in front of them. "Here is the number of a Muggle psychiatrist. I think you need to see someone about what you're going through, and if you want, I'll be there every step of the way. Unfortunately, the Wizarding world doesn't seem to have caught onto those sorts of issues, so you'll have to see a Muggle I'm afraid. Hermione recommended him, though, so he must be good."

Pansy smiled, genuinely, for the first time in a long time.

"I haven't seen you smile properly before," Ron noted. "I like it. You're pretty."

"Thanks," said Pansy, blushing. "And I'll see that guy, but can you make the call?"

Ron nodded. "Of course. We're going to get you back to normal, Pansy. Before that bastard ever touched a hair on your head."

"I appreciate everything you've done for me, you know," she said, biting her lip. She'd never been the sort to thank anyone for anything, but with Ron, it just seemed right. "Even if I don't seem it sometimes..."

"Don't worry," Ron smiled at her. "I understand, and if you ever need anything, ever, just ring me. Even if it's the middle of the night and you've just woken up from a nightmare. Besides, I think you need the practice with the phone, since you practically deafened me!"

"Yeah, sorry about that," mumbled Pansy, sitting next to him on the sofa.

"In a couple of years I expect to see the Pansy that would have snubbed me rather than accept my help," said Ron, laughing. "Though if you could still accept me, that would be great."

"You're good, Weasley. I couldn't get rid of you now if I tried."


End file.
